After last night’s bullpen implosion, Omar Minaya traded Fernando Martinez, Argenis Reyes and Mike Pelfrey for Turk Wendell. Hey, he’s experienced!

Yanks were doubtful about a pending Jarrod Washburn trade. Hal Steinbrenner said, “Putting on more payroll doesn’t sit well with me, and neither does trading away young talent.” George Steinbrenner replied: “You’re dead to me.”

New Giant Shane Olivea said he felt “blessed” to have conquered his addiction to pain killers. Blessed, that is, until he returns to his job as an NFL lineman.

Coach Eric Mangini gave the Jets a rare day-off yesterday, prompting suggestions that they planned to acquire Brett Favre. The Jets dismissed the talk, but Jerricho Cotchery was seen practicing 25-yard ins, meaning Chad Pennington’s certainly on his way out.

Some jokes that didn’t make today’s episode:

Billy Wagner spoke to the press about his recent White House visit alongside total jackass Kevin Millar. “The history was the best part,” said Wagner. “The first lady changes just about every room.” “The first lady changes in every room?” misunderstood Millar. “Woohoo! Cowboy up!’

Wagner downplayed rumors of his presidential candidacy despite his similarities to George W. Bush. Both men are self-described country boys, both have a tendency to ramble on in front of the press, and the President tortures innocent suspected terrorists just like Wagner tortures innocent Mets fans.

The New York Hockey Rangers announced they’ll start next season with two games in Prague. The Rangers hope to see the sights, learn about the culture, and get drunk and hook up with some German guy staying in their same hostel.

Players on the team said they feel no need to visit the city’s Kafka museum, as working for Jim Dolan has taught them all they need to know about existential nightmares.

It was a busy day for Mets team doctors, with medical setbacks to Pedro Martinez, El Duque and Angel Pagan. Omar Minaya was depressed, saying, “This sucks. With all their rehab starts, our Minor League ticket sales were going through the roof. I’ll just have to call up some folks from the high schools.”

And today’s outtakes: