Mets round out series in Atlanta with loss, injury; Jerry Manuel driven to tears when realizing the loss of an intended spot starter who was picked up after being cut by the Astros may actually be the nail in his 2009 coffin.

Bombers complete sweep of Tigers behind a strong showing from Chamberlain; Joba points out that because of his manager’s faith in him, he feels obligated to have at least enough promising outings to make the decision on whether or not he should be moved to the bullpen as stressful as possible.

59-year-old Tom Watson misses fairways, putts, and crucial afternoon nap down the stretch, relinquishes British Open to Stewart Cink. 

Mussina gets warm reception, job offer for 5th starter, in his first experience at Yankees’ Old-Timer’s Day.

Brittany wraps up last night’s All-Star Game Nooner-style and spotlights the latest injury to hit a Met, WHOOPS, I mean to hit former Met, Pedro Martinez.

Martinez signed a deal with the Phillies and, in a tribute to his former team, was immediately sent to the 15-day disabled list with a (insert any imaginable injury here).

Clutch performances from Oliver Perez and Daniel Murphy finally grab Mets 5-4 win over Dodgers; Upon realizing they had to be rescued by Perez and Murphy, remaining Mets march one by one, lemming-style  off Citi Field promenade.

Solid game by Burnett and Gardner give Yanks 4-3 win over Twins; SI writer Tom Verducci shocked to learn that not even Joe Mauer’s humble log cabin and lawn mowing life style can help the Twins to a victory over the Bombers.

Former Met Lenny “Nails” Dykstra files for bankruptcy in LA court; Dykstra is said to owe millions of dollars to over 20 of his largest creditors, not the least of which includes Big Chief Chewing Tobacco… ahhhh, the good stuff!

Nike supposedly confiscates tape of LeBron James getting dunked on by college sophomore in a pick-up game; Shoe conglomerate insists they had no reason to hide the dunk, but that LBJ’s subsequent uber-swearing, baby shaking, kitten punching tirade could have really hurt their marketing.

Yanks win fifth straight against Jays, notch 10-8 victory; Yankee offense picks up Joba, heads to DL with strained back.

Mets fall again, swept by Phils with 2-0 Sunday loss; Johan solid, but Amazins’ offense unable to solve Joe Blanton, the daily word jumble, or that pesky “What doesn’t belong?” puzzle on the cover of Highlights magazine.

Yankee hurler Wang headed to DL with enflamed ERA, battered ego, and some kind of shoulder injury.

Federer passes Sampras for all-time Grand Slam lead with epic win over Roddick at Wimbledon; Longest fifth set in Wimbledon history finally comes to an end with Federer outlasting Roddick using high speed internet connect card.

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Mets fall 3-0 to Cards in complete game shutout by Pineiro; Despite disappearance of offense, Jerry Manuel points out that five Mets didn’t wind up on the DL afterward and chalks it up as a moral victory.

Yanks fail to support Wang as Atlanta shuts them down 4-0; Despite disappearance of offense, Joe Girardi points out that Chien-Ming Wang’s ERA has now dipped below 37 and chalks it up as a moral victory.

Jets to wear corporate patch of Atlantic Health on practice jerseys to increase team revenue; Giants allow team captain Eli Manning to pick their patch, and will don practice jersey ads for the upcoming Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Despite Beltran’s absence, Mets amass 14 hits and drop Cards 6-4; Small ball win allows adjectives like “gutsy,” “scrappy,” and “feisty” to replace the usual “dismal,” “punchless,” and “Santana-killing” in Met headlines.

Glover holds off Lefty and Duval to take the U.S. Open at Bethpage; Unlikely winner then tracks down drunken a-hole who screams “Get in the hole!” every time someone tees off, and uses the silver trophy to bludgeon him to death.

Yankees officially file protest after 6-5 loss to Florida; Manager Joe Girardi says protest prompted partly by Marlins’ substitution error, and mostly by Hank Steinbrenner’s threat that he would move Girardi’s office into the team bathroom if he dropped 2 of 3 to Florida.

Sabathia vows to make scheduled start Friday at the Mets despite arm stiffness; Ace tells team doctors not to worry, and that his injury was only sustained because the offer to eat free at any Miami-area CiCi’s Buffet had him straining his arm with far too many heaping helpings of delicious pizza and pasta.

The series marked the second straight that the Yanks have dropped to losing teams in the NL East, but Joe Girardi has protested yesterday’s outcome and there’s some chance it’ll actually be upheld. Girardi’s case claims both that the Marlins made an illegal substitution and that it’s unfair for any team to have to use Brett Tomko, ever.

A rainy US Open will continue today, with fan favorite Phil Mickelson poised to make a heartwarming run to the top of the leader board, attempting to prove once again that with heart and effort, a man’s will can help him triumph over mountains of adversity, in this case brought on by trying to play golf in way too tight pants.

Giants Stadium will be torn down next year, but the FBI says it has no plans to check under section 107 for Jimmy Hoffa’s body. However, the bureau will conduct a thorough search for the remaining vestiges of Jeremy Shockey’s career. Apparently he’s on Joe Biden’s fantasy team.

Former Met Jeff Kent will join the cast of “Superstars,” a game show that pairs athletes with celebrities and makes them compete in extreme sports. Kent’s team is expected to struggle in extreme truth-telling and extreme not-being-a-total-asshole, but is a heavy favorite in extreme not-truck-washing and extreme riding-Barry-Bonds-lineup-presence-to-an-MVP Award.

Mets ace chased early by Yankees in rubber game rout; Santana disgusted with lack of Met run support in 15-0 loss.

Lakers hold serve in Orlando, drop the Magic to win their 15th championship in franchise history; Shaq tweets congratulations, Kobe upset that twitter has not yet employed the technology that would allow him to reply with a picture of his middle finger sent via twitterberry.

Met closer Francisco Rodriguez confronts Yankee reliever Bruney following verbal jabs exchanged through the media; After throwing a few pointed insults that he felt swung the argument in his favor, K-Rod screamed, pumped his fist wildly, and pointed to the sky thanking God for the win.

Penguins pull off upset, win the Stanley Cup in game 7 thriller Friday night in Detroit; Sports fans everywhere miss celebration in the wake of the unbridled excitement of a dropped fly ball.