As mentioned on today’s show, The Nooner is going away.

If you’re still checking in here, thanks for the love. We, me, whoever, wrote a farewell piece at TedQuarters today.

You know what? We were going to frame this post with something clever, but screw it. Thanks to the following picture of Mark Sanchez becoming so popular off Google Images in the past couple of months, we’re hitting unprecedented traffic figures.

And the irony? We stole the picture off Google Images in the first place. So thanks, sucker who originally uploaded it off the Internet. Shirtless Mark Sanchez appreciates your effort.

Everybody settle down. That man in the video player today is Ted Berg, from SNY.tv. He’s just filling in for Brittany while she’s home washing her hair, or awaiting a call from her favorite aunt, or doing whatever it is that girls do when they won’t answer our calls.

Anyway, we’re told she’ll be back tomorrow, so watch Ted botch her jokes while we try to sort through all the traffic we keep getting from the shirtless Mark Sanchez picture that shows up third on a Google Image search for Mark Sanchez.

Giants fall 45-38 in offensive shootout with Eagles; Philly fans celebrate yule-tide victory by tossing flaming Baby Jesuses (Jeesi?) at local mall Santas.

Behind backup QB, Jets back in playoff picture with 26-3 rout in Tampa; GQ editors preparing Kellen Clemens sexpot photo shoot for January issue.

Hawks blow by undermanned, severely under-talented Nets; Nets promotional emails now coming from players personal addresses, sporting subject lines like “Brook Lopez wants to see you at the Nets-Raptors game :*(“.

Knicks bulk up front court, sign forward Bender;  Bender’s career highlights include  averaging 5.6 points and 2.2 rebounds per game, as well as accidentally receiving an invite to Comicon ’99 after being mistaken for beloved character of a Fox animated series.

Wang not in hurry to sign amid free agency; Major League teams not in hurry to sign Wang amid 86.73 era.

ESPN.com reports that the Mets are in the midst of talks to purchase about 210 pounds of Bengie Molina. Once considered a commodity by the general public, Bengie Molina has in recent years become an acquired taste, esoteric to connoisseurs of aged baseball player such as Brian Sabean and the Mets’ own Omar Minaya. If the transaction proceeds as many expect it will, the Mets will likely keep their Bengie Molina in the area directly behind home plate, where its fatty tissue and leathery exterior will absorb baseballs hurled in its direction by Mets pitchers. Additionally, the sheer quantity of Bengie Molina the Mets are considering is expected to create enough energy that it would likely send baseballs hurling into the bleachers beyond the outfield fence at Citi Field 15-20 times over the course of a baseball season.

With the Mayan-predicted “rough year” of 2012 fast approaching it’s not easy to acknowledge glaring signs of the impending apocalypse, but ladies and gentleman, the New York Knicks are on a 3-game win streak.

In a season in which the previous highest point of hope came when Eddy Curry showed up looking like Eddy Curry’s not so fat twin, Knicks fans finally have a legitimate accomplishment to hang their hats on.  After beating a super-talented Atlanta Hawks team and establishing that they are now better than the Celtics (who lost to the Hawks, it’s called the law of transitive properties, look it up), the Knicks kept their hot streak alive with a win over the Greg Oden-less Blazers at the Garden (some might argue this win is tainted by the weakened Portland squad, but anyone with remote knowledge of Greg Oden’s career knows the only good he’s done since going pro was that ESPN commercial).

And I know what the rest of you detractors are thinking, the meat of this unforeseen competency sandwich was the unimaginably hopeless New Jersey Nets.  Point taken.  The Knicks did use the worst starting team in the history of the NBA to bulk up their win streak, but that’s like judging the fat kid in class for attacking the smelly, poor kid.  Given the circumstances, they did what they had to do.

So rather than finding ways to undermine the accomplishments of the Knicks, let us celebrate them for what they are; Either a Christmas miracle, or a sure indication of the unavoidable doom that lay ahead for us all.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!