Now, far be it for me to tell a man with a hoss name like Woody Johnson — seriously, was Tony Splooge taken? — how to handle his business, but this Brett Favre thing was an unmitigated disaster. Johnson will only exacerbate his Favre problem by keeping the grizzled Hamlet and his indecision — in the offseason and the pocket — aboard for another season. Brett Favre may not be washed up, and he’s been counted out before, but consider that playoff clubs Tennessee and Arizona have burgeoning quarterback controversies that will need to be fixed in the offseason. Could Matt Leinart be acquired on the cheap? Could Kerry Collins? Certainly Sage Rosenfels would play well with New York’s sizable hippie population.

And what of Kellen Clemens, a man who received less face-time in 2008 than either Kellen Winslow Sr. or Roger Clemens. Is the soon-to-be 26-year-old already relegated to a small bust-ville flat with fellow clipped-winged Oregon Ducks Joey Harrington and Akili Smith?

The truth is that only in New York can an improvement of five wins be considered a failure. The Jets were a legitimate 4-12 team in 2007, and they showed marked improvement in 2008. They fell short of the playoffs after playing in a division with two 11-win teams. They also doubled their win total while getting nothing out of the No. 6 overall pick.

The truth is also that the Jets would have been better served in keeping ol’ Noodle Arm Pennington as their quarterback and focusing on improving their receiving corps. But as is the case with most New York teams, the GM played marketer and went for sizzle over substance.

So the Jets finish 2008 precisely where they finished 2007: at home with a weak-armed quarterback who will likely not return. Perhaps this offseason they will realize that quarterbacks are a bit like closers — unless you’ve got one of the elite five, it makes no sense to devote precious resources to them in lieu of improvement elsewhere.

Though those of us who like to watch Jets fans mope certainly hope that they won’t.

Eric Mangini — You can’t just erase Brett from the birth certificate with Photoshop?

Tom Coughlin — Want me to shoot Snee in the leg?

Jerry Manuel — Et tu, Jerry? (asked by Willie Randolph)

Mike D’Antoni — Over/Under 30 games into the LeBron-less 2010 season before you quit?

Steve Spagnuolo — Who will you and the Rams be drafting second overall next season?

Scott Gordon — What did you bastards do with Ted Nolan?

Joe Girardi — “Did you consider Brett for Miller with the bases loaded in the seventh?”

P.S. RIP Dock Ellis. (That last line’s a dandy.)

Yankees sign Wang to one year deal; Ensure marginally talented, childish, lazy morning bloggers at least another year of easy to write, fill-in-the-blank weiner jokes.

G-Men to follow approach of last year, play last game at full strength; Hoping to ride momentum all the way to NFC Championship, where they again will capitalize on the motivation of saving their coach’s rapidly deteriorating face.

Rockets topple Nets in showdown of Chinese superstars; Yao writes a check that Yi’s ass can’t cash.

Sign us up for not buying it. Why? Because these are the Jets. And no matter what anyone said about how bringing in Favre “changed the atmosphere” around the Meadowlands, we still see storm clouds on the horizon.

Why? Well, for one, we’re not so sure Brett Favre knows how to play football. Honestly, has anyone watched this guy play? He just chucks it. It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes. He’s not good. Sure, his durability and impressive arm strength probably put him among the 15 best quarterbacks in the NFL history, but that’s, well, history. Now he’s old, he still throws the interceptions, he doesn’t fully grasp the offense, and, most importantly, he’s on the Jets.

The same old Jets. No matter what anyone says. We’ve got our fingers crossed, but if we had to make a prediction, we’ll still say they finish at 8-8.

So there you have it. Only a horrifying, so-dumb-it-would-have-been-impossible-to-predict playcall from Dick Moron kept our 8-8 prediction from coming true.

Jets lose out west again, playoff hopes looking slim; Eric Mangini not panicked however, and still looking festively plump.

Rondo too much for Knicks to handle as Celtics earn record win, 124-105; Chris Duhon and Nate Robinson could not stop Rondo from getting to the hoop, as they remained as close as possible to half court focusing whole-heartedly on breaking out quickly for the D’Antoni offense.

Ramirez apparently confident that Yankees will make 3 year offer, and that his home’s lack of a chimney will not affect Santa’s ability to deliver the Dragon Ball Z bedspread he is so desperately hoping for this year.

Lions edging ever closer to 0-16, shocked to learn this wouldn’t earn them what would seem to be a fair split of the federal bailout money.

Brett Favre is in position to complete one of the greatest in-your-face moments in the history of professional sports.

By leading the New York Jets to the playoffs a year after the franchise went 4-12, Favre can put an exclamation mark on 5-9 Green Bay’s ridiculous decision to trade him after an MVP-caliber season in 2007 that helped produce a 13-3 record.

Let’s not forget that Favre retired from the Packers, then unretired after his job was given to Aaron Rodgers. Imagine somebody at your office doing that. Once you take the gold watch, you can’t give it back.

You pawn it for income to supplement the smoldering hole where your 401K used to live. Then you rob the pawn shop.

Now, some are arguing that Favre was not the missing ingredient for Green Bay this season and that his departure is irrelevant.

Aaron Rodgers: 63.5 percent completion, 3,470 yards, 23 TD, 12 INT, 16.3 percent DVOA

Brett Favre: 67.6 percent completion, 3,052 yards, 21 TD, 17 INT, 1 percent DVOA

Brett Favre has completed a higher percentage of passes and more passes to opponents. Aaron Rodgers has thrown for more yards and is much more responsible with the football. It’s not a landslide, but it’s not particularly close. Rodgers has the better numbers. In fact, according to the Football Outsiders, on any given play Aaron Rodgers is 16.3 percent better than the average quarterback, while Favre is one percent better.

Yes, the Packers’ defense is allowing a full touchdown more per game than it did last season. And the running game has gone south while Aaron Rodgers, who replaced him in Green Bay, has a better passer rating (91.8) than Favre (86.5).

F*** the Heck? Are you claiming that Aaron Rodgers — whose numbers are substantially better than Favre’s — is to blame because he doesn’t defend the pass or run the ball the way Favre did? I mean, I’ve heard stories about Oregon, but damn, Aaron Fentress, we need to get a small plane and start trafficking it to a small airport in upstate New York so we can … actually, I’ll call you about this.

And there’s the fact that the Jets spent about $140 million on new players last offseason, and running back Thomas Jones is having a career season with 15 touchdowns.

Because perennial Pro Bowlers Kris Jenkins and Alan Faneca have factored into the Jets’ resurgence.

But you can’t underestimate Favre the leader and how the presence of a three-time MVP has helped raise the level of play of those around him.

The Jets ranked 25 of 32 teams in defensive DVOA in 2007. They rank 15 in 2008. This jump is almost directly attributable to the run defense, which improved No. 30 to No. 7 from 2007 to ‘08. Unless Brett Favre is subbing on the defensive line in obvious run downs, I’m just not sure how he’s doing this.

It was a calculated, power-trip move by Packers general manager Ted Thompson to send Favre to the seemingly harmless and mediocre Jets.

Thompson had a better quarterback to whom he handed the starting job when Favre retired. He swapped Favre for what is almost certainly a second-round pick and could be a first-rounder if the Jets make the Super Bowl.

Look, blame Ted Thomson for playing a game of chicken with his defensive line. But the only ego that was getting in the way of Packers football was Brett Favre’s. Thompson swapped a malcontent for something pretty valuable. Under the circumstances, the GM did pretty well for himself.

And then there’s the fact that the Packers don’t have to deal with this anymore.

Rangers spurned by veteran free-agent Mats Sundin, who chooses Vancouver instead; Apparently, the 37 year old center just couldn’t swallow the idea of every Ranger fan in the city inevitably referring to him as “Matty” by default.

Yankees welcome new pitchers to New York; “Sure it’s a bit intimidating coming here,” Sabathia noted, “but that 15 lb. burger challenge at Carl’s Jr. was intimidating too, and I had no problems with that.  Which just goes to show you, intimidating things can be delicious too.”

All American Tyler Hansbrough breaks yet another prestigious UNC record; Now leads the school all time in deck jumps, white dancing, face blood, and points.

There’s also this in the bio:

a pre-med major at Marshall with a degree in zoology…might try med school when he finishes playing basketball

Obvious one-liner: You should have seen the brisk pace of Dr. D’Antoni’s surgical teams. They got 10-hour operations done in seven. They always seemed to lose the patient on the second-to-last step of the operation, though.

Or, to paraphrase obvious comp. Moonlight Graham: Son, if I’d only gotten to be a doctor coach for five minutes… now that would have been a tragedy.

Because the Knicks would probably still be coached by <thehorror>Zeke</thehorror>.

Slow starting Jazz rally to defeat Nets 103-92 in battle for the least intimidating names in sports.

While not panicking in the absence of Plaxico Burress the Giants make call to 36 year old Joe Horn; Apparently also sent telegrams to gauge possible interest of Mercury Morris, Lynn Swann and Art Monk.

Yanks set to introduce Sabathia and Burnett on Thursday; Pitchers to enter news conference in golden chariot surrounded by brown sacks with dollar signs on them.

Yankees interest in Manny Ramirez apparently growing; GM Cashman reportedly only lukewarm on the idea though, as he does not want to devote the necessary time to placing Mr. Yuk stickers on every “harmful if ingested” substance in the stadium.

Jets send seven players to the Pro Bowl, including an arguably undeserving Brett Favre; Angry parties fail to take into account that man hugs, treating every TD pass like it is your first ever, and garnering credit for wins you seemingly jeopardized weigh heavily in Pro Bowl voting.

Eli and Peyton Manning both headed to the Pro Bowl; First ever pair of QB brothers voted to an all-star game set aside bitter differences from the DSRL decision and graciously accept.