As we point out in the show today, Jose Canseco is back in the news after smuggling a female fertility drug across the border from Mexico. The drug is apparently used illegally by juicers to combat low testosterone levels and testicular atrophy. He was accompanied by a female driver and her young daughter, because Jose [...]

The newfound tradition of playoff baseball in Boston brings with it one of the most disturbing sports pastimes to develop since baseball mustaches first went out of favor in the early 90s. The playing, and singing along to, Neil Diamond’s Sweet Caroline at professional sporting events is a menace and must be stopped. Listen: You [...]

We hate Philadelphia. We’ve made no secret of that. And we think it’s hilarious that someone in Citizen’s Bank Park thought hot dogs for the Phillie Phanatic’s cannon were suspicious packages, especially considering how the Phillie Phanatic obviously doubles as Philadelphia’s bomb squad. In fact, we wish we were there for the detonation of the [...]

We’re not talking about the Mets today. Too traumatic. There’s all sorts of nasty things to say about the Amazins, but we’re all out of jokes. The Jets, though? Ripe for comedy. That’s because the Jets are quickly becoming the joke that they seemingly always are, even though everyone thought Great Big Brett Favre would [...]

Listen: We know Yankee Stadium is a memorial to all that is great in baseball of time gone by. And that’s fantastic, really. But last night’s ESPN-ification of an event that absolutely everyone knew was coming — and during a meaningless game, no less — made us sick. It felt like the Yankees were leaving [...]

Does anyone know? We haven’t really been paying attention, and all we know is that Michael Phelps’ run to eight medals is complete and he’s a national treasure and maybe The Greatest Athlete of All-Time, depending on who you ask. The bad part is we don’t really care. Sure, Phelps’ accomplishments are certainly impressive, but [...]

We love the third person. We believe all athletes should be required, by law, to refer to themselves only in the third person. Not only would this provide for lots and lots of hilarity, but it would really help clarify a lot of their statements. We bring this up, of course, because Plaxico Burress referred [...]

We’re done whining about the Brett Favre thing for now, so we’ll focus our attention today on the one guy who’s saga has lasted longer and irritated more viciously than Favre’s, Roger Clemens. Today, the Rocket’s lawyer, whose name is Rusty Hardin, filed a 97-page report to kick off Clemens’ defamation case against Brian McNamee. [...]

Wow. After all that talk, we really didn’t see this coming. Now we’re conflicted. As Jets fans but Favre haters, what are we to do? Favre’s an upgrade over whoever the Jets were going to trot out at starting quarterback. Is he a solid plan for the future? Not at 39 with an undisclosed number [...]

So Brett Favre turned down the Packers’ offer of $20 million to stay the hell out of training camp. Then he refused to talk to the Jets, one of the teams in hottest pursuit of The Most Overrated Quarterback of All-Time. Then he leaks word that he wants to play for the Vikings, which has [...]