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Jake Rake Category

Mets Considering Heaping Portion of Molina

In: Jake Rake

ESPN.com reports that the Mets are in the midst of talks to purchase about 210 pounds of Bengie Molina. Once considered a commodity by the general public, Bengie Molina has in recent years become an acquired taste, esoteric to connoisseurs of aged baseball player such as Brian Sabean and the Mets’ own Omar Minaya. If [...]

After a disappointing season in which injuries laid claim to Carlos Beltran, Jose Reyes and Johan Santana, the front office was thrown into disarray and David Wright failed to maintain the level of play expected of him, Mets fans suffered another devastating blow Monday with word that right fielder Jeff Francoeur is expected to be [...]

ESPN Editors Let One Slide…

In: Jake Rake

Manny Should Be Ashamed Of Himself

In: Jake Rake

Today is indeed a sad one for the National Pastime. News that affable dreadlocked slugger Manny Ramirez abused performance-enhancing drugs has shocked the sports world and couldn’t have come at a worse time, as it will now overshadow the continuing coverage of news that Alex Rodriguez abused performance-enhancing drugs.
As A-Rod returns to action this week, [...]

Jets Uncover New Species Of SN GRN

In: Jake Rake

Monday, April 27, 2009; NEW YORK – The New York Jets of the National Football League made an important scientific discovery at last weekend’s NFL Player Selection Meeting, uncovering a previously unknown subspecies of SN GRN. The new creature, known as “Shonn Greene,” is a close relative of the previously discovered Shawn Green and Sean [...]

This was a sad weekend for the sport of baseball.
Revelations that Alex Rodriguez, a three-time MVP winner and respectable family man, may have abused steroids have shaken everything that I hold sacred. You go through life thinking that people are good, and when push comes to shove, generally do the right thing. But if professional [...]

I Shin-Soo Choo-se You

In: Jake Rake

Among the coolest things about being a Major League ballplayer, save for the spoils of wealth, fame, status and fulfillment, is being able to rock the one-earflap helmet for the first time in a lifetime of playing baseball. From Little League all the way through college, batting helmets are obtrusive, cranial-consuming behemoths that alert the [...]

Mets Land Easiest Joke Ever From Mariners

In: Jake Rake

As Sam Elliott’s character imparted in The Big Lebowski, “Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you.” In a similar vein, sometimes a guy surfaces with the unfortunate name of “J.J. Putz” and sometimes J.J. Putz gets traded to the city with a larger Jewish population than Jerusalem.
The Mets continued wheeling and [...]

As FOX Sports’ Ken Rosenthal reports, the Metropolitans have expressed interest in trading for Dodgers outfielder and multimillionaire Juan Pierre. The idea that anyone wants Juan Pierre at all is a funny enough concept on its own, which is why this column ends here.
Nah, there’s more.
Even better than the possibility of the Mets expressing interest [...]

Rickey Gettin’ His Swerve On, HOF-Style

In: Jake Rake

David Cross favorite and sometime Oakland Athletics left fielder Rickey Henderson is finally on the ballot for the Baseball Hall of Fame, contingent on his not randomly being picked up by a Major League team sometime between now and the vote in July. Rickey will clearly be elected on the first ballot, but probably not [...]