Jets get revenge on Bills in Toronto, hold on for 19-13 win; Sanchez, who received lessons on feet first sliding from Yankee coach Joe Girardi this week, injures himself sliding head first.  ”With respect to Mr. Girardi,” Sanchez said, “I only take sliding lessons from one man.”

Eli Manning confirms suspicions that autograph on Cowboy Stadium wall is in fact his, and thinks everyone should relax about it.  ”I don’t see what the big deal is,” Eli pointed out, “It’s one little handprint.  Besides, I’m pretty sure it’s washable, non-toxic paint.  That’s all my wife let’s me use anyway.”

Coaches and athletes blindsided as Hofstra cuts football program due to rising cost and fading interest; “It’s hard to find the words to describe it,” said sophomore WR Chaz Cervino, “It’s like we were all as shocked by this as the rest of the country was when they heard Hofstra had a football program.”

Return to Philly turns tearful for briefly retired veteran Allen Iverson; “After all I w-went through the first t-time around in this city,” Iverson sobbed, “I j-just can’t believe they still want me t-to p-participate in p-p-praaaactice.”