Oh, what’s that Brett Favre, you detestable fool? You’re not done yet? In the words of the great Billy Wagner, “f@#$ing shocker.”

We were on vacation a couple of weeks ago when Favre first broke the news that he was staying retired, which, incidentally, is not breaking news.The word “news” comes from the term “new,” meaning something that has not happened before, or was not happening long before it became news. Staying in the state you were already in does not constitute news.

Nor does lying to everyone to get out of training camp, incidentally. Not when you do the same thing every single year.

The real news would have been if the football season actually started and Brett Favre wasn’t on a team. That would have been novel. But no, it’s not happening.

Sorry, Tarvaris Jackson. Enjoy the long shadow of the most overrated human in the history of the species.

Have we expressed how much we dislike Brett Favre here? We’re not sure if we’ve made it clear, but we should: Brett Favre sucks. He’s not actually good at football. Why the Vikings haven’t recognized this yet is beyond us.

Here’s a recap of a forthcoming Brett Favre play: Favre drops back to pass… can’t find the open man (even though he’s clearly there, in the flat, wide open)… here comes the pressure!… And Favre gets away! What a move to evade the defender… scrambling deeper into the pocket now, he sees a man, throws!…. and it’s… absolutely nowhere near anyone on his team and right into the hands of the waiting defender who’s the only person even visible on the TV screen at the time he catches the ball, making you really wonder why Brett Favre felt the need to just throw the ball as far as he possibly could to show off his stupid, strong arm once again.

The only upside Brett Favre brings is he’s stunned us back into writing here. Not that it was stunning.