Mets shut down by lowly Nationals with 4-0 loss in Washington; Receiving even more devastating injury news, Amazins also learn that their collective dignity, which was previously thought to be out for a few weeks, is officially done for the year and will require off-season surgery.

Yanks play textbook baseball in win over Orioles, now stand alone in first place in the division; Red Sawks fans still happily tossing around the fact that they have yet to lose to the Bombers this year though, because apparently, THAT is the real championship.

Frustrated Mets executive challenges minor leaguers to fistfight; Bernazard also reportedly gives indian burn to a baby, and kicks puppy after losing in what he believed to be a severely flawed game of Red Light, Green Light.

Former MMA star shocked to see false stories of his death posted all over the web; ”Who am I, Screech?!,” the confounded Leopoldo wondered aloud, “Not cool.”