Mets come out of the gate quickly with 5-0 lead, but bullpen lapse leads to embarrassing 8-5 loss to upstart minor league team.

Joba goes eight strong as Yanks beat Indians and set errorless record; Chamberlain gets in on the defensive act with bellyflop catch that causes several cars in the stadium lots to overturn.

Jets RB Leon Washington finally at OTA’s after three week absence; Diminutive back insists he hadn’t intentionally avoided appearing, but rather that his quick cutting, elusive manner of movement made it nearly impossible to hit the practice facilities head on.

Agent Drew Rosenhaus claims that three teams are interested in the services of Plaxico Burress, but tells Miami TV the Dolphins aren’t one of them: “All I can reveal,” Rosenhaus said, “is that there is one AFC team, one NFC team, and the other is that team of convict kids the Rock coached in that inspiring movie.”

Depleted Mets drop Marlins 3-2; Carlos Beltran and John Maine knocked out with stomach virus, both vow to stop sharing pre-game popsicles.

Yanks mount comeback but fall to Indians in the ninth; Progressive field once again invaded by wildlife as seagulls soar overhead, Cleveland electing to hold back fleet of bears until their next postseason series with the Bombers.

Yankees tie record for errorless games streak held by 2006 Red Sox; Hank Steinbrenner uses transitive property of equality to show that the Red Sox didn’t win the World Series that year, so the Yankees obviously have no chance now, and officially throws in the towel on ’09.

Orlando ousts the Cavaliers to join the Lakers in the upcoming NBA Finals; Former Magic and Lakers star Shaquille O’Neal reveals his prediction on Twitter – “neither can win n e thing without the big aristotle. ive out danced dwight howard and made kobe taste my ass. i win”

Stanley Cup finals apparently going on; Barry Melrose says the Red Wings are up 2-0 on some kid with a shoddy beard.