Joba struggles after rain delay as Yanks fall to Rangers 7-3; Chamberlain’s hopes that certain Yankees tendencies for enhanced performances in Texas would carry them to a win regardless fall flat.

Livan Hernandez throws 127 pitch complete game as Mets drop Nats 6-1; Manager Jerry Manuel to be indicted on severe violation of senior citizen labor laws.

Banged up Mets add Ryan Church and Jose Reyes to the DL; Church is presumed to clearly be suffering the effects of another concussion (that may or may not cause him to randomly miss crucial bases), while Jose Reyes really just wants out because all the cool kids will be in the dugout now.

Jose Canseco knocked out in 76 seconds by Korean 7-footer; Canseco’s MMA debut even shorter and more embarrassing than his steroid ravaged scrotum.