Manny being Trannie; Dodgers slugger suspended 50 games after testing positive for women’s fertility drug. 

Mets power past Phillies for early season sweep; Phils playing possum while taking bets on how far back they can fall before swiping the division title in September.

Rivera rocked in 9th as Yanks lose fifth straight;  Girardi senses mutiny afoot as steadfast closer gives up back-to-back jacks, then smiles and gives him the finger on his way into the locker room.

A-Rod to return to Yankee lineup today in Baltimore; Much maligned star hoping to pull some ironic laughs when he trots into Camden Yards in a Manny Ramirez jersey.

Favre shuns Vikings, elects to stick with retirement; Fickle quarterback turns his back in disgust upon learning Minnesota’s Metrodome houses artificial turf and is completely un-mowable.