Knicks spanked by Nets 115-89 as both make push for final playoff spot; Even while wearing their lucky green uniforms for St. Patrick’s Day, Knicks feel having filled their Gatorade coolers with green beer may have had an adverse effect on their shooting percentage.

Livan Hernandez closing in on landing the Mets fifth rotation spot; Livan’s half brother, Orlando “El Duque” Hernandez, closing in on landing AARP card.

Matsui feeling fresh, to remain DH and out of the outfield until at least June; Slugger relieved as extra time in dugout will allow his knee to heal fully, as well as give him some much needed downtime to catalogue his astonishingly immense porn collection.

Nets suspend Sean Williams for two games after his arrest in Denver mall; Williams stakes claim that tossing the computer monitor had nothing to do with any altercation but was simply a result of his frustration with “God damn Windows Vista.”