Steelers beat Cardinals in dramatic fashion, 27-23; Four horsemen of the apocalypse relieved to hear they won’t be stuck working the day after the Super Bowl.

Santonio Holmes wins Super Bowl MVP; Drug dealers everywhere inspired to be all they can be.

Knicks face upcoming “Hell Week”; Otherwise known as “bring us back to reality in a flawed system in which even WE might be allowed in the post-season week.”

Joe Torre defends book on “Weekend at Larry’s”; Limp, sunglasses-wielding carcus agrees with his points.

Olympic medal winner caught smoking bong; Record setting swimmer would like to know how YOU intend to maintain a caloric intake of 10,000 per day.