Cards top Eagles 32-25 to take NFC championship; Following Tampa Bay Rays World Series appearance, Cardinals’ Super Bowl berth leaves civilization just a single locust swarm short of full-on armageddon.

Steelers drop Ravens 23-14 in defensive fight for AFC supremacy; Troy Polamalu’s mane outdoes Joe Flacco’s unibrow in battle for most valuable hair.

Jets to go with first time head coach Rex Ryan in 2009; Organization still unwilling to waver from prophetic 8 ball’s early 2000 prediction that blind hope over experience would assuredly lead the franchise to long term success.

Giants lose defensive coordinatoor thanks to Rams’ head coaching vacancy; Spagnuolo elects the safe confines of dome life in order to avoid losing his youthful face to Coughlin syndrome.