Big Blue falls to rival Eagles 23-11 in playoff exit; Philly now charged with task of keeping a Cardinals Super Bowl from tearing a hole in the space time continuum and killing us all.

Despite absence of two biggest stars, Rockets roll Knicks 96-76; Houston backup Von Wafer drops 15 despite Eddy Curry’s attempts to dip him in chocolate and devour him.

After playoff loss, Giants GM considering bringing back Plax in ’09; Eli’s uncanny ability to overthrow any receiver reminds Reese that the 6’5″ self mutilator could still be a real asset to the team.

Syracuse comes out on top in battle at Rutgers; Jonny Flynn’s dunk sparks win, Eric Devendorf’s menacing presence clears gym of all women and effeminate men.