Knicks restore balance to universe, follow up Sunday win over defending champion Celtics by falling to the Seattle Orphans 107-99.

Yanks introduce Teixeira, who credits his wife for finalizing his decision; All star first baseman hoping his complete lack of balls will now make him even more agile in the field.

Boston College set to fire Jagodzinski after interviewing for Jets head coach position; School officials hoping to retain his salary by citing his desire to join the Jets as an obvious sign of severe alcoholism.

Pettitte allegedly rejects Yankees’ $1o million offer; Veteran hurler may force Yanks into looking elsewhere and signing yet another free agent for the equivalent of the GNP of Panama.