Giants fall to supposedly fueding Cowboys in Dallas;  T.O. says of he and Witten’s relationship, “He’s a hell of a player, so it’s not that big of a deal that he’s a total f—ing douche who has secret meetings with my quarterback, man… it’s no big deal… he’s just my qu-qu… my… excuse me!” as he runs off to the showers sobbing wildly.

Timely defense saves the day as Gang Green holds off Buffalo 31-27; CBS commentator Dick Enberg credits Brett Favre’s leadership presence and emanating manliness on the sidelines for the inspired defense.

The Yanks may have interest in New York’s favorite son Manny Ramirez; Even after spending more than the gross national product of Sweden to obtain Sabathia and Burnett, the bombers are rumored to be willing to go for 3 years at $60 million, and sweetening the deal with an offer of his own personal film room for watching his Dora the Explorer DVD box sets.

Tiger Woods’ caddy Steve Williams rips Phil Mickelson publicly; Media at large credits Williams for saying “I hate the [expletive]” rather than capitalizing on the opportunity for a low brow man-boobs joke (like The Nooner predictably would).