In tough economic times, three sources of investment can speed up a sluggish economy: personal, commercial and government. However, in the rough economic waters of the modern baseball landscape, only one group appears poised to lift their fellow boats: the New York Yankees.

Thursday, virtuoso AP scribe Ronald Blum wrote that the 3.6 percent increase in the average Major League salary “was the smallest since 2004, when the average declined 2.5 percent from the previous season.” Clearly the national GDP isn’t the only growth that’s stalled.

Blum also notes that while the Yankees maintained their spot atop the Major League payroll mountain, their “average of $6.86 million [per player] was down from a record $7.47 million last year.”

So while the Yankees’ recent spree of offers sounds like a six-year-old reading the Toys R’ Us catalogue — I want that one and that one and that one — or preppy Freshman girls reading the orientation facebook — I want a CC and an A.J. and a Mark and a Bobby and a Derek — their strategy of not just beating the offers of their competitors but blowing them away by $40 million, is actually a calculated strategy to raise the average Major League salary back to pre-recession levels. The Yankees are doing their part to save the economy.

Now you get out there and max out those credit cards, just like Uncle Hank. That’s change redistribution we all can believe in.

Reports have surfaced that the Giants were aware of the Plaxico Burress accident only moments after it occurred, as teammate Antonio Pierce contacted a team trainer for help.  Evidently, Pierce made the phone call soon after his initial text message went unanswered: idk wat 2 do, plx shot hmslf… LMFAO.

Cavs rout Knicks in 118-82 win, Knicks prez Donnie Walsh takes some positives from the game: “See now if this were 2010, and LeBron’s 21 points were on our side, we would have only lost by a much more respecatable margin of 15.”

Cashman hoping to woo Sabathia to Yanks at Winter Meetings in Las Vegas; GM hoping $140 million along with all of his Bellagio buffet vouchers will be enough to lure the ace pitcher.

Rangers top Pens 3-2 in shootout win; Goalie Henrik Lundqvist has now allowed only 3 goals in 19 shootout shot attempts, making him the most efficient stopper in hockey since the combination of Goldberg and Julie “The Cat” Gaffney led the Mighty Ducks in 1994.