The recent flap over Detroit Free Press columnist Rob Parker’s hardball question to Lions coach Rod Marinelli — “whether he wished his daughter had married ‘a better defensive coordinator,’” — inspired me to think of a few jackpot questions to ask New York coaches. I’ll define a jackpot question like this: You know that little vein over your eye that pulses when you get really angry? When that explodes, you know you’ve asked a jackpot question.

Eric Mangini — You can’t just erase Brett from the birth certificate with Photoshop?

Tom Coughlin — Want me to shoot Snee in the leg?

Jerry Manuel — Et tu, Jerry? (asked by Willie Randolph)

Mike D’Antoni — Over/Under 30 games into the LeBron-less 2010 season before you quit?

Steve Spagnuolo — Who will you and the Rams be drafting second overall next season?

Scott Gordon — What did you bastards do with Ted Nolan?

Joe Girardi — “Did you consider Brett for Miller with the bases loaded in the seventh?”

P.S. RIP Dock Ellis. (That last line’s a dandy.)

Gang Green looking forward to proving their worth Sunday against the upstart Fins;  Chad Pennington looking forward to sticking it to Jets’ brass by decapitating Brett Favre and stealing his soul Highlander style, capping ultimate season of retribution.

Yankees sign Wang to one year deal; Ensure marginally talented, childish, lazy morning bloggers at least another year of easy to write, fill-in-the-blank weiner jokes.

G-Men to follow approach of last year, play last game at full strength; Hoping to ride momentum all the way to NFC Championship, where they again will capitalize on the motivation of saving their coach’s rapidly deteriorating face.

Rockets topple Nets in showdown of Chinese superstars; Yao writes a check that Yi’s ass can’t cash.

Yield to the Duke-stir, the world’s greatest football mind. Remember a few weeks back, when everyone and their uncle had the Jets in the Super Bowl? Everyone, that is, except us. We wrote:

Sign us up for not buying it. Why? Because these are the Jets. And no matter what anyone said about how bringing in Favre “changed the atmosphere” around the Meadowlands, we still see storm clouds on the horizon.

Why? Well, for one, we’re not so sure Brett Favre knows how to play football. Honestly, has anyone watched this guy play? He just chucks it. It’s the Emperor’s New Clothes. He’s not good. Sure, his durability and impressive arm strength probably put him among the 15 best quarterbacks in the NFL history, but that’s, well, history. Now he’s old, he still throws the interceptions, he doesn’t fully grasp the offense, and, most importantly, he’s on the Jets.

The same old Jets. No matter what anyone says. We’ve got our fingers crossed, but if we had to make a prediction, we’ll still say they finish at 8-8.

So there you have it. Only a horrifying, so-dumb-it-would-have-been-impossible-to-predict playcall from Dick Moron kept our 8-8 prediction from coming true.

G-Men come up huge in possible NFC Championship preview, knock off Panthers 34-28;  Earth, Wind, power of Captain Planet carry Giants to OT victory.

Jets lose out west again, playoff hopes looking slim; Eric Mangini not panicked however, and still looking festively plump.

Rondo too much for Knicks to handle as Celtics earn record win, 124-105; Chris Duhon and Nate Robinson could not stop Rondo from getting to the hoop, as they remained as close as possible to half court focusing whole-heartedly on breaking out quickly for the D’Antoni offense.

Ramirez apparently confident that Yankees will make 3 year offer, and that his home’s lack of a chimney will not affect Santa’s ability to deliver the Dragon Ball Z bedspread he is so desperately hoping for this year.

Lions edging ever closer to 0-16, shocked to learn this wouldn’t earn them what would seem to be a fair split of the federal bailout money.

Pardon me if I go dak on you, or perhaps Junior, but google reader spat out something fascinating, and I had to share with the group. Allow me to Fire Joe Morganize a story titled Favre can show Packers error of their ways, written by Aaron Fentress of The Oregonian. It’s after the fold, where really long blog posts live.

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Knicks center/bench anchor Eddy Curry being sued by Casual Male over unpaid clothing bill; Alleged indiscretion is over more than $41,000, just slightly above cost for the fabric necessary to make two shirts for Eddy Curry.

Rangers spurned by veteran free-agent Mats Sundin, who chooses Vancouver instead; Apparently, the 37 year old center just couldn’t swallow the idea of every Ranger fan in the city inevitably referring to him as “Matty” by default.

Yankees welcome new pitchers to New York; “Sure it’s a bit intimidating coming here,” Sabathia noted, “but that 15 lb. burger challenge at Carl’s Jr. was intimidating too, and I had no problems with that.  Which just goes to show you, intimidating things can be delicious too.”

All American Tyler Hansbrough breaks yet another prestigious UNC record; Now leads the school all time in deck jumps, white dancing, face blood, and points.

I saw this tremendous St. Louis Spirits brainfiller/timekiller linked over at freedarko, and I was particularly fascinated by the Mike D’Antoni player page. I had no idea, for example, that Mike D’Antoni has a degree in Zoology, though it makes sense inasmuch as his success is predicated on understanding what breed of player he has and finding the best way to classify them to fit his system — Boris Diaw at center? Bold. — regardless of what league mores dictate their roles to be. D’Antoni’s basketball genuis, then, is at least partially attributable to his taxonomic genius.

There’s also this in the bio:

a pre-med major at Marshall with a degree in zoology…might try med school when he finishes playing basketball

Obvious one-liner: You should have seen the brisk pace of Dr. D’Antoni’s surgical teams. They got 10-hour operations done in seven. They always seemed to lose the patient on the second-to-last step of the operation, though.

Or, to paraphrase obvious comp. Moonlight Graham: Son, if I’d only gotten to be a doctor coach for five minutes… now that would have been a tragedy.

Because the Knicks would probably still be coached by <thehorror>Zeke</thehorror>.

Mets introduce K-Rod at holiday party; Party turns awkward when a drunk Jose Reyes pees on decorative plant and Moises Alou shows up and shoves his hands in the soil.

Slow starting Jazz rally to defeat Nets 103-92 in battle for the least intimidating names in sports.

While not panicking in the absence of Plaxico Burress the Giants make call to 36 year old Joe Horn; Apparently also sent telegrams to gauge possible interest of Mercury Morris, Lynn Swann and Art Monk.

Yanks set to introduce Sabathia and Burnett on Thursday; Pitchers to enter news conference in golden chariot surrounded by brown sacks with dollar signs on them.

Late surge by Kobe knocks off Knicks in bid for LA upset; Team falls just short despite superb performance by Nate Robinson, who scores season high and drops as many points as inches he is tall.

Yankees interest in Manny Ramirez apparently growing; GM Cashman reportedly only lukewarm on the idea though, as he does not want to devote the necessary time to placing Mr. Yuk stickers on every “harmful if ingested” substance in the stadium.

Jets send seven players to the Pro Bowl, including an arguably undeserving Brett Favre; Angry parties fail to take into account that man hugs, treating every TD pass like it is your first ever, and garnering credit for wins you seemingly jeopardized weigh heavily in Pro Bowl voting.

Eli and Peyton Manning both headed to the Pro Bowl; First ever pair of QB brothers voted to an all-star game set aside bitter differences from the DSRL decision and graciously accept.