Mike Piazza’s writing a book. Insert joke here.

We poked fun at Piazza in today’s show, and to be honest, we feel a little guilty about it. Piazza is one of our favorite players of all time, and he’s without question the greatest offensive player in Mets’ history.

Beyond that, he carried himself with class throughout his tenure in New York, inspired our hatred for Roger Clemens, and regularly drops SAT words in his visits to the SNY booth. Dude is smart. We hope his book turns out to be the next Ulysses.

But that won’t make us stop from making jokes about him. Not because we think he’s gay (which isn’t something to joke about anyway); we’re actually in the small camp that believes he isn’t. Technically, the joke is on the New York media, whose giant gay witchhunt for Mike Piazza culminated in history’s only example of a man holding a press conference to confess his heterosexuality.

And once you do that, even if you’re more or less forced into it by the New York Post, then you’ve made yourself an easy target for comedy writers under deadline pressure. Sorry, Mike. You’re still awesome, but that’s just not going to stop us from making fun of you.

Speaking of which, a joke from Nooner rehearsals that never made the air, upon Piazza’s retirement:

Mike Piazza announced his retirement from baseball today. Fans are curious as to whether he’ll wear a Mets or Dodgers jersey at his Hall of Fame induction, and fashionistas are curious as to whether he’ll have a beard for the ceremony or if he’ll leave her at home with their kids.

Our apologies. We love you, Mike. Not in that way.

Well, maybe a little in that way. And that’s fine.

Knicks fall to Spurs despite absence of Parker and Ginobili; Win marks first of the year in San Antonio for the aging Spurs, who had recently fallen to Dallas, Miami, and a local senior rec center team at home.

Johan Santana finishes third in voting for NL Cy Young award, losing out to Giants young ace Tim Lincecum; Both pitchers endured shaky bullpens throughout the year, as Lincecum had 6 wins blown by his relievers, while Santana’s bullpen cost him 26 additional wins, compromised his 401k, and ran over his dog.

Hal Steinbrenner proves Hank isn’t the only brother that can shake up the media; Drops bombshell that the Yankees are willing to spend money in their efforts to field a championship team.

22 year old college dropout wins $9.15 million in the World Series of Poker main event;  First Kanye West, now this guy?  Expect to see universities worldwide completely deserted by 2015.