We’re haters. We’ll admit that. See Favre, Brett for details.
But we actually like Stephon Marbury. Maybe it’s because he’s a local boy or because we own a pair of his $9 sneakers or because he’s got a scalp tattoo.
Or maybe because, easy though it may be to dismiss Steph as just another talented athlete who went overboard on fame and fortune, he seems different. Steph’s lunacy transcends the realm of Gary Paytons.
Yeah, he’ll screw an intern in the back of an SUV now and then or cause trouble in his team’s clubhouse, the usual spoiled athlete nonsense. But then he’ll go on Mike’d Up and confess his love for his sister or announce plans to give free sneakers to every high school basketball player in New York City. Not so straightforward.
Steph’s a deranged NBA jester, and we enjoy watching his work on, off, and in court.
We just wouldn’t want to let our kids hang out with him.
Luckily we don’t have kids, so it’s not a pressing concern. But man, if our son was on the Lincoln High basketball team that Steph yesterday said he could practice with, well, we’d probably push for a transfer.
Because like him or not, Stephon Marbury is a crazy person. A fun one, yes. Good for jokes, and maybe mostly harmless. But crazy. Nuts. Loco.
It comes down to something we call The Michael Jackson Dilemma. Michael Jackson made awesome music for a really long time and was obviously driven to insanity by the pressure surrounding his career. Now he looks like an alien and touches children.
That doesn’t make Billie Jean any less awesome, but it means you can’t let your kids hang out with him, no matter how many monkeys he promises to show them (Ed. note: If Michael Jackson offers to show you his monkey, say no).
Steph likely won’t give any Lincoln students the Neverland Ranch treatment, but we can’t say that for sure, because we can’t say anything for sure about Stephon Marbury except that nothing is certain when it comes to Stephon Marbury.
It’s what we love about him, but it’s what forces us to implore you: Keep your kids away from Stephon Marbury.
