The following is not about sports at all.
Every now and then, something happens that is so important, so earthshaking, that it pulls our attention away from Brett Favre’s mandsome stubble for a while. And frankly, today, we can’t focus on anything else.
We’re referring, of course, to the escalating beef between rapper/actor 50 Cent and Taco Bell.
We like 50 Cent. We don’t think he’s the best MC in the world, and if push came to shove we’d definitely side with the GZA in that squabble, if just because only one of those men was in the Wu Tang Clan. Plus, we discredit 50′s best hits because they all came with Dr. Dre behind the glass, and we think a dying duck would sound pretty good with one of Dre’s beats behind him.
But we like 50 Cent anyway. He’s been shot a bunch of times and managed to come out on top, which we respect, plus he namedrops Xzibit and we want to do everything we can to boost the chances that our rides get pimped.
We just don’t like 50 Cent nearly as much as we like Taco Bell. Yeah, In Da Club’s a good song, but call us when you can feed an army for less than $20. Now Taco Bell, glorious agent of wonder, is coming out swinging against Fitty, saying that the rapper’s $4 million defamation suit against The Bell is another hollow threat.
In case you somehow missed it, 50 is suing Taco Bell for trademark infringement after a Taco Bell publicity cent went awry.
Nothing says “gangsta” like a trademark infringement lawsuit. You’d think Fitty would try to settle things the old-fashioned way, either via lyrics or by shooting up a local Taco Bell. But no. He’s big-timing the Bell.
So here’s hoping Taco Bell founder Glen Bell, who might not be alive but we’re not sure, counters with a rap battle. Or that the GZA takes up Taco Bell’s cause and rhymes about tacos more.
And to anyone who’d like to champion Taco Bell in this beef, we’ll help you get started: “Supreme” rhymes with “with sour cream” and in the Taco Bell lexicon, they’re synonymous.