1 0 Archive | October, 2008
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The Morning Fix

By Slim Pickens on Oct 03, 2008, 9:33 am

This just in; The Rays can play, Evan Longoria is a super-stud, and everyone hates Grant Balfour.

City of Philadelphia shows domestic abuse is okay so long as it is accompanied by big game pitching and unexpectedly scrappy at-bats… Gooooo Brett Myers!

Cubs suffering from less-catchy “Curse of suddenly blowing at every aspect of the game of baseball.”

Seahawks return receivers you didn’t realize were still in the league and are coming fresh off of injury; Should prove big week 5 test for Plax-less Giants.

Sapp says Kiffin was treated unfairly, and that Davis only hired him for the virility his youthful blood had to offer.

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The Morning Fix

By Slim Pickens on Oct 02, 2008, 10:02 am

Brewers fall to Phillies in playoff opener thanks to selfish primadonna Sabathia’s refusal to go on 2 days rest.

Ramirez homers to help Dodgers to 7-2 win over Cubbies; “I’m just being Manny,” Manny said.  Oh that is so Manny.  I love when he goes all Manny being Manny and answers questions simply be stating who he’s being… Manny.

Jason Bay’s go ahead home run lifts Sox over Halos 4-1; Credits his calm nerves to never having been remotely close the a postseason atmosphere during his time in Pittsburgh.

Mets pitcher Burgos dealing with frustration of a lost season as any normal person would… mowing down innocent people with an SUV.

Former Bronco Travis Henry arrested in “multikilogram cocaine transaction”; Evidently feeding his hordes of illegitimate children requires the income of both a professional football player and a drug kingpin.

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All Eyes On West Coast

By Jake Rake on Oct 01, 2008, 11:36 am

It is a banner year for the West Coast base ball clubs,
as the mighty Yankees and the talented upstart Metropolitans have
stepped out of the spotlight and allowed the city of Los Angeles to
demonstrate to the sporting world that it has arrived as a world-class
athletic power.

The Dodgers, led by a Dominican named Ramirez, and the Angels, who
play amongst the orange groves of Anaheim, each clinched their
respective pennant races several days before the season ended, and are
well-rested and ready to take on their opponents in the first round of
the play-offs. The teams both feature an impressive array of big-
league talent and are in good position to take their fans with them
all the way to a championship, which jibes well among the burgeoning
youth culture of Southern California.

Oh how the times have changed! I visited California one summer as a
boy, helping my Uncle Lysander on his ill-fated llama farm north of
Pasadena, and I fondly recall watching with delight as the local base
ball clubs had perfectly adapted the experience of our national
pastime. Lysander himself had been among the first generation of
native Californiaoans, having accompanied his father and 12 sisters
during the great molybdenum rush of ’27.

It will be interesting to see how the New York press will handle the
experience of a Western-centric play-offs and whether the public will
respond to contests in such a remote locale. Here’s to the possibility
of a Fall Classic under the palm trees!

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The Morning Fix

By Slim Pickens on Oct 01, 2008, 8:10 am

Plaxico Burress was reportedly involved in 40-50 team levied fines before his recent 2 week suspension was handed down.  So take note all you egomaniacal primadonnas around the league; If you want to come to New York for the big bucks, be prepared to adhere to a strict and unwavering 50 strikes and your out rule.

Yankee GM Brian Cashman earns 3-year extension; someone has to be there to explain the infield-fly rule to “true baseball man” Hank.

Maine undergoes arthroscopic shoulder surgery; Looking forward to being forced into bullpen out of desperation in ’09.

Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis fires head coach Lane Kiffin, reaffirms his position as the all-knowing, unquestionable ruler of Castle Grey Skull.

White Sox slip past Twins 1-0 to gain last AL playoff spot;  Ozzie Guillen’s continued presence assures TBS’s 7-second delay will be put to good use.

Ricky Williams admits freedom of bye week, Domino’s killer Two-for-Tuesday deal tempted him to use marijuana.

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