The Mets’ playoff run may have ended on a down note, but Minor League relief pitcher Ambiorix Burgos wasted no time murdering people this offseason. Coming off a solid 2008 campaign in which he pitched a total of ten innings, striking out two and walking three over three levels of class-A ball, the 24-year old follows a recent precedent set by fellow violent crime buffs Juan “Shooter” Uribe and Ugueth “Gascan” Urbina of using the offseason as a time for relaxing, quiet self-reflection and letting out one’s personal demons through psychopathic terror.
Burgos, who along with Ambiorix Concepcion gives the Mets’ organization as many Ambiorii as the Indians have Asdrubals and Faustos combined, is charged with killing two women by running over them with his SUV, and has taken a bold stance on the issue, proclaiming:
“I am going to come out of this fine because my conscience is clear, and I’m not worried this will affect my career because I haven’t done anything.”
Whether or not the situation affects Burgos’ career remains to be seen, as it has not been confirmed or denied that the prison where he is being held employs a pitching coach who might be able to impart some lessons on how to help Burgos control his pitches. Burgos’ father, Pablo, shares his son’s bizarre views on whether the two women found dead under Burgos the younger’s SUV were killed by the car or by something else, chalking the whole incident up to jealously over his son’s fame because he is the only Major Leaguer from their hometown of Nagua. This argument makes perfect sense, as there has been nary a murder, rape or arson that has taken place in Havre de Grace, MD over the past several decades that hasn’t included Cal or Billy Ripken among the suspects.
