Knicks lose final preseason game, some final shreds of hope, as promising Wilson Chandler goes down with sprained knee.

Workers begin laying sod at the new Yankee Stadium; Process briefly halted to pull up the area behind home plate after it was revealed a Red Sox fan had buried Jason Varitek’s ability to hit somewhere in the area.

Not sure what to do with that excess $65k?  Get in on the action for the Jets’ PSLs while the bargains are still hot!

Cleveland Browns coach Romeo Crennel devastated by news that team was suspending “piece of meat” for one game;  Relieved to find out they were just talking about Kellen Winslow.

MMA organization Elite XC folds, high profile stars out of the job;  Kimbo Slice to return to fighting bums on the streets, Gina Carano to resume fighting alongside bums on NBC.

World Series set to begin tonight, inundation of ”reason-based” media predictions to finally end;  Check out the only real analysis you’ll need right here.

Favre accused of giving away Packers gameplan to Lions in phone call… to be fair though it is entirely possible that he just threw the phone call out there carelessly and it was intercepted.

Rangers fall to Stars 2-1 in Sean Avery’s return to Garden; While back in New York, Avery also uses his time to do a guest host spot on TLC’s What Not to Wear.

Knicks’ subs hold off Nets in preseason win; Here’s to hoping shooting guard/student body president Dan Grunfeld earns himself a spot on the Knicks’ roster, making my job infinitely easier each morning.

Yankees and Cowboys combine to form a new company to handle their concessions, new stadium marketing, and crushing the rebel alliance.

Cutler backs up admission of throwing harder than John Elway by rocketing two passes to the Patriots in 41-7 loss.

Giants defense comes up big in 29-17 win over 49ers; Michael Johnson leads the way with two INTs… wow, this guy does everything.

Jets fall to lowly Raiders 13-10 in OT; Luckily though, avoiding sacks to throw ill-advised passes that go incomplete or intercepted in a loss is still enough for Dick Enberg to give all of his heart to Brett Favre.

Rays defeat Red Sox and earn a trip to the organization’s first ever World Series; Owner and manager have never been more in love.

Yanks’ young pitcher Chamberlain apologizes for errors in judgement; Shocked to learn that having an open container of alcohol while driving a vehicle was not excusable under the “Joba Rules.”

Running back Larry Johnson’s misguided and unfulfilled (thanks to always having been a Kansas City Chief) need to beat someone once again gets the best of him.

We like Manny Ramirez. We’re not sure he belongs on the Mets or Yankees, but we’d welcome him because he’d make our joke-writing duties a whole lot easier. Plus he’s awesome at baseball, even though he can’t — despite what he says — run or play defense. He’s a professional hitter, and he’s great at his job.

But more we like Manny Ramirez for his refreshing honesty. Yesterday, he told the press that he’d sign with the highest bidder. You might say that makes him a sellout or something, and that he should sign for less to play for some team close to his heart or something. But that’s not true, and Manny’s not pretending it is. That’s much better than pulling a Mike Hampton and saying you’re signing with the Rockies so your kids can get better education when actually you’re signing with the Rockies for a buttload of money and the chance to hit at Coors Field.

How’d that one work out?

The great thing about Manny is that at this point he comes with a built-in response for others on his team. When Manny leaves the field to pee or chokes a traveling secretary, teammates faced with the press afterwards can just say, “That’s Manny being Manny!” and it explains away everything he’s done rather simply.

Imagine Milton Bradley had that stigma. “That’s just Milty being Milty,” they’d say after he beat the tar out of another umpire, and Bradley would get suspended and then return to one of his other hobbies, hitting like a beast and getting injured, and no one would think twice.

Hell, imagine you had that stigma. You could do whatever you’d like and never embarass your family or friends, because that’s just you being you. Why’d Duke get stinking drunk at the Christmas party and sexually harass co-workers of both sexes? Oh, that’s just Duke being Duke!

The Red Sox just cannot be killed; Resilience due in large part to off season seminars hosted by Michael Myers.

Brodeur earns his 97th career shutout in win over Thrashers;  Luckily, Atlanta not close enough to Dallas for him to be affected by the presence of Sean Avery.

Steinbrenner says Joba is likely to return to starting rotation in ’09, and that the Yanks won’t entertain moving him to the bullpen until a late-season injury caused by the fatigue of his overly-babied arm forces them to.

Steelers safety Troy Polamalu says egregious fines are making the NFL a “pansy game,” promptly scrunchies his hair up into a bun and storms off in disgust.

Despite injured pinkie, Romo wants to play Sunday; Apparently Favre’s call of encouragement complete denigration of his manhood did the job.

It stings that the Phillies made the World Series. We know they’ll lose because they’re the Phillies and teams from Philadelphia don’t win championships (perhaps to phight the phans that even Jimmy Rollins can’t love) and because the American League is so far superior to the Senior Circuit. So we can get past it, even though we think Cole Hamels sounds like a girl when he talks and Shane Victorino’s defense is overrated because of his tiny little legs and how fast he needs to move them to track down routine fly balls.

But what really burns us is that the Rays elected to use Scott Kazmir — out of order — to face the Red Sox tonight to try to clinch the league. C’mon. You’ve got a team full of great young talent locked in to cheap longterm deals and a buttload of pitching prospects coming up the pike. Can’t you just be cool about it? Mets fans are already battered. The last thing we need is salt in our wounds. James Shields would give you a fine chance to win it. He’s a good pitcher. After all, he’s on the Rays.

James Shields was never traded by the Mets for Victor Zambrano, though. We had some funny point to make to conclude this but now we’re too angry to think clearly. Good lord, Jim Duquette, what were you thinking?

Oh and to make matters worse, Duquette is still around, talking about Kazmir with friend-of-SNY.tv Pete McCarthy on the internet. Get out of there, Pete! He’ll trade you for Chip Carey long before you reach your potential, and even though Chip Carey’s not that good at braodcasting to begin with and has a throat injury he’s not telling anyone about.

Announcer and erstwhile jackass Tim McCarver says something seems to be wrong with Cole Hamels following the 1st inning and that if he were the Phillies manager he’d be worried; Hamels went on to pitch 7 innings, giving up only one run and pitching the Phils into the World Series…  Despicable Mr. McCarver!

Pettitte wants to return to Yanks; Says he will do whatever it takes (and admit it to congress years later) to have his aging body ready for the Bombers in ’09.

Willie Randolph says the Mets made him a better man, and that their shortfall hardly went unnoticed by him.  “The experience made me a stronger person,” the former manager said, “And made me pysically stronger as well.  Seriously, you should see the six-pack I carved up laughing maniacally as they crumbled!”

Shaquille O’Neal rips opposing coach and others in latest, not quite as catchy freestyle: “Hey Gregg Popovich, Nash, Raja Bell, Posey and Kapono… tell me how my a$$ tastes!”

Jets fullback Tony Richardson warned his teammates about Oakland’s infamous Black Hole before Gang Green’s matchup with the Raiders this week. “One lady was about 75 years old,” he said, “and she shot us the bird.” The Jets plan to prepare for that treatment by driving on the New Jersey turnpike.

Yesterday Brett Favre, who has started 258 straight games including once playing through a broken thumb, said he called Tony Romo, who will miss his next four starts with a broken pinkie. Favre said he offered Romo words of encouragement and managed to keep a straight face while doing so.

Former slugger and literary giant Jose Canseco back in the news today after being caught smuggling a female fertility drug across the border from Mexico. The drug, HCG, is often used illegally by steroid users to combat testicular atrophy. Legal experts say Canseco will still testify against Roger Clemens, but others question whether he still has the balls.

Canseco said he was only in Mexico seeking — quote — “inexpensive dental implant work,” because apparently there’s a huge black market for dental implants in Tijuana.

As we point out in the show today, Jose Canseco is back in the news after smuggling a female fertility drug across the border from Mexico. The drug is apparently used illegally by juicers to combat low testosterone levels and testicular atrophy. He was accompanied by a female driver and her young daughter, because Jose Canseco’s not above bringing kids into his tiny-nutted romps of desperation.

We assume the woman is Canseco’s girlfriend or among his girlfriends, because who else would have enough of a personal stake in the size of his testicles to drive him across the border? Certainly Canseco’s passport is riddled with red flags by now.

Of course, the funniest tidbit from the story is that Canseco claimed he went to Mexico for cheap dental implants. Add “seeking dentistry in Mexico” to Canseco’s lengthy list of questionable decisions.

It boggles the mind that no one’s thought to make an after-school special of the Jose Canseco story yet. Hey kids, take steroids and one moment you’re on top of the world, the next you’ve got puny balls and you’re smuggling drugs in from Tijuana to try to get them bigger again, plus you’ve got Hepatitis B from an unaccredited Mexican dentist. Also, you’ve probably got bacne.