ESPN reported on Sunday that the Yankees will not pursue a trade for Brewers first baseman Prince Fielder, who is apparently being dangled as trade bait this offseason, due to “the eventual need to keep first base open for Derek Jeter.”

First base has been a trouble spot for the Bombers in recent years, with 25 different players having manned the position over the past four seasons, including 12 in 2008 alone. That’s right, an entire roster’s worth of players have been used at a single position, including such luminaries as Chad Moeller, Jose Molina, Miguel Cairo, Charles Barkley, Nick Green, Cody Ransom, Josh Phelps, a cardboard cutout of Gabrielle Reece, Doug Mientkiewicz, Scrappy Doo, John Flaherty, Alyson Hannigan, Al Roker and any number of 35-year-old outfielders who no longer retained the use of their legs. Could it be that the solution to their right-corner infield woes lie in their 34-year-old shortstop?

The short answer to this query is no, and the long answer is also no, but preceded by 5-7 seconds of condescending laughter. With the major league average slugging percentage for first basemen set at .464 in 2008, Captain Jeter was a bit behind the curve at .408 last season. 2008 marked the fifth consecutive season in which Jeter’s home run total dropped, fourth in a row for his walk total and third straight season of decline in batting average, OBP and slugging. Of course, there’s always the chance that Mr. November rebounds and starts putting up excellent numbers well into his late 30′s, and we all remember how much everyone appreciated when Barry Bonds did that.

Phillies possible clinching game over Rays suspended by rain;  The Almighty shows mercy to the innocents of the town by buying them time to evacuate before victorious Phillie fans drown the city in beer, flames and blood.

Steelers says Manning tipped them off to goal line play in the 2nd quarter; Defensive end Brett Keisel said he knew the Giants were running their “32″ play behind the right guard when Eli help up three fingers on one hand and two on the other, and yelled out “Thiiiis many!!!”

Knicks waive Ewing Jr. to finalize regular season roster;  While they liked his play overall, he lacked the offensive polish and the necessary amount of skull tattoos to fit in with the team’s scheme for ’08-’09.

49ers reportedly interested in Condoleezza Rice for vital position;  Interim head coach Mike Singletary feels she will be a much more team-oriented tight end than Vernon Davis.

Umpires admit second missed call in World Series; Confess that had they taken the time to smell Evan Longoria’s glove and/or check it for skid marks they would have seen that he had clearly tagged Jimmy Rollins out.