We like Manny Ramirez. We’re not sure he belongs on the Mets or Yankees, but we’d welcome him because he’d make our joke-writing duties a whole lot easier. Plus he’s awesome at baseball, even though he can’t — despite what he says — run or play defense. He’s a professional hitter, and he’s great at his job.
But more we like Manny Ramirez for his refreshing honesty. Yesterday, he told the press that he’d sign with the highest bidder. You might say that makes him a sellout or something, and that he should sign for less to play for some team close to his heart or something. But that’s not true, and Manny’s not pretending it is. That’s much better than pulling a Mike Hampton and saying you’re signing with the Rockies so your kids can get better education when actually you’re signing with the Rockies for a buttload of money and the chance to hit at Coors Field.
How’d that one work out?
The great thing about Manny is that at this point he comes with a built-in response for others on his team. When Manny leaves the field to pee or chokes a traveling secretary, teammates faced with the press afterwards can just say, “That’s Manny being Manny!” and it explains away everything he’s done rather simply.
Imagine Milton Bradley had that stigma. “That’s just Milty being Milty,” they’d say after he beat the tar out of another umpire, and Bradley would get suspended and then return to one of his other hobbies, hitting like a beast and getting injured, and no one would think twice.
Hell, imagine you had that stigma. You could do whatever you’d like and never embarass your family or friends, because that’s just you being you. Why’d Duke get stinking drunk at the Christmas party and sexually harass co-workers of both sexes? Oh, that’s just Duke being Duke!
