1 0 Archive | Oct 16, 2008, 11:15 am
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Rub it in, Rays

By Duke Casanova on Oct 16, 2008, 11:15 am

It stings that the Phillies made the World Series. We know they’ll lose because they’re the Phillies and teams from Philadelphia don’t win championships (perhaps to phight the phans that even Jimmy Rollins can’t love) and because the American League is so far superior to the Senior Circuit. So we can get past it, even though we think Cole Hamels sounds like a girl when he talks and Shane Victorino’s defense is overrated because of his tiny little legs and how fast he needs to move them to track down routine fly balls.

But what really burns us is that the Rays elected to use Scott Kazmir — out of order — to face the Red Sox tonight to try to clinch the league. C’mon. You’ve got a team full of great young talent locked in to cheap longterm deals and a buttload of pitching prospects coming up the pike. Can’t you just be cool about it? Mets fans are already battered. The last thing we need is salt in our wounds. James Shields would give you a fine chance to win it. He’s a good pitcher. After all, he’s on the Rays.

James Shields was never traded by the Mets for Victor Zambrano, though. We had some funny point to make to conclude this but now we’re too angry to think clearly. Good lord, Jim Duquette, what were you thinking?

Oh and to make matters worse, Duquette is still around, talking about Kazmir with friend-of-SNY.tv Pete McCarthy on the internet. Get out of there, Pete! He’ll trade you for Chip Carey long before you reach your potential, and even though Chip Carey’s not that good at braodcasting to begin with and has a throat injury he’s not telling anyone about.

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The Thursday Morning Fix

By Slim Pickens on Oct 16, 2008, 8:12 am

Announcer and erstwhile jackass Tim McCarver says something seems to be wrong with Cole Hamels following the 1st inning and that if he were the Phillies manager he’d be worried; Hamels went on to pitch 7 innings, giving up only one run and pitching the Phils into the World Series…  Despicable Mr. McCarver!

Pettitte wants to return to Yanks; Says he will do whatever it takes (and admit it to congress years later) to have his aging body ready for the Bombers in ’09.

Willie Randolph says the Mets made him a better man, and that their shortfall hardly went unnoticed by him.  “The experience made me a stronger person,” the former manager said, “And made me pysically stronger as well.  Seriously, you should see the six-pack I carved up laughing maniacally as they crumbled!”

Shaquille O’Neal rips opposing coach and others in latest, not quite as catchy freestyle: “Hey Gregg Popovich, Nash, Raja Bell, Posey and Kapono… tell me how my a$$ tastes!”

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