In the coming weeks, Mets fans will endure what may be the greatest threat to the team’s postseason chances this season. This monster is more menacing than Chase Utley, Willie Randolph, Al Qaeda, and an alternate-reality, slick-fielding Bill Buckner put together, and could single-handed derail everything that David Wright, Johan Santana, and Argenis Reyes have worked so hard for all season. Naturally, I am referring to the impending return of Marlon Anderson, the Mets’ bizarrely entrenched fifth outfielder, who made his first rehab start for Class A Port St. Lucie last night.

Anderson’s initial steps on the comeback trail should strike fear into the hearts of the Mets’ faithful, as his removal from the lineup with injury earlier this month was far more valuable than any moves the team could have made prior to the Trade Deadline, save for acquiring CC “Relax, bullpen, I got this one” Sabathia. Despite appearing in three times as many games as Daniel Murphy, his replacement on the Mets’ bench, Anderson has hit fewer home runs and walked less than Murphy has. Anderson’s 2008 batting line of .222/.259/.294 is so far below replacement level that there isn’t even a joke to make about it. Of course, performance isn’t everything, right? And as far as veteran leadership and clubhouse presence go, Anderson hits a home run every time! Plus, according to Anderson’s Wikipedia entry, “He is widely known for his clutch hits, and writers for publications including The New York Times and Newsday have referred to him as one of the best pinch-hitters in the game.”

Anderson’s performance this season has been about as valuable to the Mets as Ted Nugent is even-tempered. Ok, so there are jokes to be made about it. But the bottom line is that Marlon Anderson sucks, and when the Mets inevitably trot him back out there, Jimmy Rollins will be watching with a smile as big as the hole in Anderson’s swing.

Sidney Ponson and the Yankees dropped yet another crucial game to the Red Sox 11-3 last night, again making any hopes for a playoff berth seem fruitless.  But look at it this way, if I told you at the beginning of the season that the Yanks would be sending Sidney Ponson to the mound with their postseason hopes hanging in the balance, you’d have had no hope to begin with.  So all in all this isn’t that disappointing.

Carlos Delgado led the Mets to victory yet again last night, jacking 2 homers in the 6-3 win over the Phils.  The white-hot Delgado then proceeded to blast two more homeruns during the postgame press conference, and one more on his ride home.

Warren Sapp has added yet another show to his freed up retiree schedule, though he won’t be required to dance with any stars by joining the cast of NFL GameDay.  In the coming weeks Sapp is also slated to be slimed on Double Dare, advise on portfolio management on CNBC’s Mad Money, and guest anchor for Katie Couric on the CBS Evening News.

The College Football season kicks off today, sure to be overcovered and overanalyzed by media outlets nationwide.  Speaking of which, be sure to catch Lou Holtz’s 3 hour Shenshational Pigshkin Sheason Kickoff Shpectacular! beginning at 4pm ET on ESPN.