The Yankees kept their playoff hopes alive with a huge offensive outburst on Sunday, posting 15 runs in a win over the Royals.  Jason Giambi contributed with a grand slam and credited his recently reestablished upper lip hair with the victory, “I’m telling you as soon as I let this grow out again I felt like our luck would change.  And luckily it only takes me minutes to regrow it thanks to my body’s curiously high levels of testosterone.”

Johan Santana threw an absolute gem yesterday, notching a win with a complete game shutout of the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Santana was happy he was able to go the distance after the bullpen had been worn down by their work on Saturday,  “I wanted to give the guys out there a break,” Johan said, “plus I didn’t want to have to follow through on my threats of burning down their homes if they blew another win for me.”

Brett Favre says he “Feels like a Jet,” after making his first appearance for New York in Saturday’s preseason contest with the Redskins.  The newly acquired QB was 5-for-6 for 48 yards, and threw a 4yd touchdown pass.  Only throwing a 4 yard strike in an eventual loss… yup, that’s pretty much what I assume he meant by “Feels like a Jet.”

Former Seattle Supersonics star Shawn Kemp is reportedly coming out of retirement to play for the Italian team, Premiata Montegranaro.  Kemp is excited to get back in the game as he has been close to a comeback on several occasions, but hasn’t been able to work anything out in the US.  The news is good for the Italian club as well, who can count on a 25% overall jump in their attendance each time Kemp invites his children.