The Mets got a big win Tuesday, beating the Padres 6-5 behind two Fernando Tatis home runs.  The victory allowed the Mets to gain a game in the NL East and also allows fans to continue uttering the strangest sentence ever spoken; The Mets playoff hopes would be nonexistent if not for the golden bat of Fernando Tatis.

The Yankees fell a game in the AL East in spite of a grand slam by Richie Sexson, falling 8-6 to the Rangers on Tuesday.  You know it spells trouble when Big Sexy jacks a 4-run job and you can’t even come out on top, but their collective 7.29 ERA in the last ten games could spell disaster regardless of their offensive production.  Good thing for Yankees fans they have Chien-Ming Wang, Phil Hughes, Ian Kennedy, Carl Pavano, and now Joba Chamberlain on their way back from injuries.  They’ll be fine once they’re running a 9 man rotation.

New York Jets head coach Eric Mangini said he is still undecided on who will be the starting quarterback in the Jets preseason opener against Cleveland.  His decision is a tough one this year, having to choose between a quarterback with a wet towel for an arm, and one who loves showing his rifle arm off as the ball rockets into the hands of the opposition.  But this is preseason, I say just give Clemens the start and make him play with Pennington on his back instructing him on where to throw.  It’ll be something fun for the fans until you can chloroform Brett Favre and get his country ass here.

Speaking of Fav-ruh, Packers coach Mike McCarthy officially announced to the public on Tuesday that Brett Favre’s future will not be with Green Bay.  Great, so now we can all look forward to John Madden announcing a game where he says nothing aside from how strange it is to see Favre in a new uniform until he eventually breaks down weeping and blubbering in the lap of Al Michaels halfway through the third quarter.

A source claims that once LeBron James becomes a free agent after the 2009-2010 season, he would be open the idea of playing in Europe for offers of $50 million per year or more.  A source has also revealed that I would be willing to play basketball in Satan’s anus for similar offers.