Jason Giambi shaved his mustache yesterday, a tragic day for facial-hair enthusiasts but a good one for those who wish Jason Giambi would just shut up and go take walks and hit home runs and stop bothering us with his thongs and mustache and nonsense.

We used to love mustaches. Really. They’re totally hilarious, and in some contexts we still find them funny. But when Giambi grew that disgusting hellbeast of a lip ornament, we knew mustaches had jumped the shark.

The mustache hit the peak of its hilarity sometime around the turn of the millienium, but once it became a fashionable accessory for every tight-jeansed hipster in Williamsburg it started to lose some of its luster. The great mustaches are the unironic ones, like those belonging to Keith Hernandez, Tom Selleck and Salvador Dali. Silly pencil-thin jobs or jokey handlebars are not what the mustache is about, and not why the mustache is or ever was funny.

If you want to grow a mustache, grow the classic “Dad” stache, and wear it proudly like your old man once did. Otherwise, you’re just contributing to the sharp decline of one of our nation’s most hysterical traditions.

Recent acquisition Xavier Nady’s four hits and six RBIs led the Yankees to a comeback win Sunday, and earned them a split with the league leading LA Angels.  Nady’s big day at the plate prompted clever NY writers to overload on cheesy headline possibilities like X-Pirate is X-cellent X-cuse for hitter in X-citing offensive X-hibition.

The Mets are hoping to get back on track after being swept by the Astros, placing John Maine on the DL, and once again having to worry about the health of closer Billy Wagner.  The weekend wasn’t a total wash though, as Jose Reyes was reportedly able to conquer his fear of the boogeyman and sleep without a night light for the first time.

Brett Favre will be officially reinstated on Monday and report to Green Bay for what the Packers are calling an “open competition” at quarterback.  The team’s supposed starting QB Aaron Rodgers said he was fine with the decision, and is eager to compete for the starting job.  He then promptly walked over and took a dump on the rug in front of Favre’s enshrined locker.

The White Sox-Royals game turned into a bench clearing melee on Sunday after Sox pitcher D.J. Carrasco came inside 3 consecutive times, eventually hitting Royals catcher Miguel Olivo.  White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was disgusted with the decision to eject Carrasco saying “Sure, he started the brawl by hitting him and then punched Olivo in the back of the head while he was restrained by our catcher from behind and helpless to defend himself… but that’s just good, old fashioned baseball.”