To watch outtakes from Friday’s Nooner, click play below:

This is a tough card for us to play since we’re affiliated with a different sports news network, albeit a regional one. But man, is anything going to be lamer than SportsCenter going live every day from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.? We guess this is some sort of attempt to tap into the network morning show audience, and it just so happens that network morning shows are a festering boil on the backside of humanity. “Look at this really fat puppy! Breaking news: We found a fatter puppy! Aww.”

So now ESPN’s going to serve you its nonsense live. Woohoo. Finally we’ll get to know Who’s Now right now, instead of who was now an hour ago, when they filmed that segment. First breaking story on ESPN live? ESPN goes live! Second story? Brett Favre just farted! Someday the Yankees will play the Red Sox! And these stories are all coming at you LIVE! NOW! LIVE!

Sorry, we don’t want to seem bitter. We used to love SportsCenter back in the day, with Dan Patrick and Keith Olbermann and Craig Kilborn. In fact, we loved it so much that we’re psyched to see Patrick and Olbermann relive their old glory on Football Night in America, even if we know they’re not going to be as funny as they used to be and they’ll most likely end up as a parody of their former selves. Whatever.

Also, where have you gone, Craig Kilborn? We thought your show was pretty awesome, just not quite as awesome as Conan. But now we have TiVo, so we could watch both. Come back, Craiggers. The world needs your patented sleazy brand of humor now more than ever.

The Yankees allowed 12 runs on 18 hits in a brutal loss to the Angels on Thursday, ruining the debut of new catcher Pudge Rodriguez.  Nine of the Angel’s runs were charged to Andy Pettitte, who as any real Yankee fan knows if infallible (one little HGH admission notwithstanding), so it must have been a poorly called game by Pudge… ship this guy out!

Brett Favre is reportedly considering accepting the Packers offer of $20 million to just stay retired, telling ESPN it may be the best solution.  For those of you who are unaware, this is a move the Packers front office pulled from the Kennedy’s playbook, having been used for quite some time to hide secret babies.  The Packers are essentially telling their baby momma, “Here’s a lot of money to disappear, you don’t ‘have‘ to take it. But we might friggin’ kill you.”

Manny Ramirez was awoken from a mid-afternoon nap by a family member informing him he had been traded to the LA Dodgers in a last minute deal yesterday.  Yes, we all know how amusing it is that Manny would be napping like a 7-year old child, but be fair people… he was exhausted from coloring all morning.

The Nooner was able to obtain some exclusive photos of reactions to the Manny trade:

• Terry Francona after receiving the news that the baggy pajama-uni sporting mess was no longer his headache.
• Joe Torre upon hearing he would now be the one to enjoy Manny in his locker room.
• David Ortiz once he is told his batting average will no longer be padded by Manny hitting behind him.

White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen briefly pulled his team from the field on Thursday night, as unruly Minnesota fans catapulted hats and baseballs onto the field.  “This is f***ing uncivilized!,” Ozzie explained, “What the f*** is wrong with these people?  Have they no f***ing moral fiber?  I mean what kind of f***ing social etiquette is that?  I was literally f***ing fearful for f***ing lives of me and my f***ing players.” For shame Twins fans, for shame…