After the Yanks’ win, Derek Jeter actually said, “We would like to have won, but sometimes the other team is going to beat us.” Of course, all that and more can be found in Jeter’s new magazine, Professional Athlete Cliche Quarterly. Should be a thrill ride.

You’d think Johan Santana’s complete game Sunday would end all the criticism, but you failed to consider the Daily News’ Filip Bondy, who argues that Santana should have been pulled after eight innings — the exact thing he took heat for last week. Welcome to New York, Johan. It only gets worse.

Though the Red Sox may trade embattled slugger Manny Ramirez, Mets officials say they don’t see a deal materializing. Giants wideout and known weed hookup Mario Manningham says he does see a deal materializing.

Contributing Yankees Richie Sexson and Jose Molina are advocating for the acquisition of Jarrod Washburn. When reached for comment on the situation, George Steinbrenner held his head in his hands, weeping and wondering what the hell happened.

Speaking of which, Goose Gossage argued that the Boss belongs in the Hall of Fame in his own induction speech yesterday. Analysts predict Steinbrenner will make it in, as he recently purchased Cooperstown.

In hockey news, Garth Snow’s search for the next Islanders head coach continues, and the fact that no one cares also continues.

With no time to waste before next week’s non-waiver trade deadline, the Yankees management met in Tampa on Thursday to discuss possible trade options.  Beefing up the roster to make a run at the AL East title is business as usual for the Yankees brass, but there’s more competition this year.  It turns out this new team that’s replaced the Devil Rays is pretty good…at baseball I mean.  (The Devil Rays were always pretty good at certain things, such as making rainbow-colored uniforms, but they never got the baseball thing down.)  This got me thinking: If the Yankees are willing to dispense with prospects and heaps of cash to make the team more competitive, why don’t they nip this thing in the bud and use their resources to eliminate the competition.  I’m not suggesting foul play here, just savvy business maneuvering.

The Yankees can just about guarantee a spot in the playoffs if they trade for the NL West.  No, I don’t mean they should trade for every player in the division.  That would be silly.  I mean that they should negotiate with the National League to trade for a spot in the division.  League executives love money every bit as much as team executives, and who has more money to offer than the Yankees?  (Insert Cynthia Rodriguez joke here) If money’s not enough on its own, the Yankees can make it a legit trade by throwing in some prospects.  With constantly-expanding drug testing across professional baseball, the NL offices will obviously need more people to collect urine samples.  And who’s more qualified than guys who spend all their time in clubhouses?  The NL has to bite on an offer like that.  The teams currently in the division can’t complain, as they’ve all shown no interest in winning this season.  This way someone else can deal with the hassle of playing baseball in October.  The new competition would also see its ticket revenue grow, as the Yankees always draw a big crowd on the road.

The only problem I can see is that there would be an odd number of teams in each league.  This can be easily solved by sending the Brewers back home to the AL Central.  If you’re not sold on that idea, just picture the look on Eric Wedge’s face when he spots CC Sabathia taking the mound for the competition.

The Yankees took a weekend series from the Red Sox, winning 2 of 3 and pulling to within 3 games of the first place Rays.  The Sox were able to salvage the series with a win last night, but seemed distracted by Manny Ramirez’s yearly flare up of mid-season idiocy.

The Mets rounded out their weekend with a 9-1 rout of the Cardinals, as starter Johan Santana pitched brilliantly in earning the complete game win.  Santana, still shaken by his last start however, had to be reassured by post-game media members and grounds crew that it was alright to leave the the field at the end of the game, and that there was no way the Mets could possibly lose his lead.

Former Yankee closer Rich “Goose” Gossage was inducted into the Hall of Fame yesterday in an emotional ceremony in Cooperstown.  Goose would later confirm he was unable to hold back his tears because his long-awaited induction meant he’d finally won a long-standing bet with a former teammate, and could now shave that ridiculous mustache.

Antonio Margarito took the WBA welterweight crown from Miguel Cotto on Saturday night, beating his heavily favored opponent in 11rounds.  Looking largely unphased by the flurry of attacks he withstood at the hands of Cotto, Margarito revealed he had built up his “wear him down” method by paying friends, family, and neighbors to attack him mercilessly while he was doing every day activities like his morning crossword or walking the dog.