No outtakes today — everything we filmed actually made it into the show for once. So here are some jokes that didn’t get filmed:

The Mets enter the second half riding a nine-game winning streak and 19 1/3 scoreless innings from their bullpen. Billy Wagner will do his best to end both tonight in Cincinnati.

Danilo Gallinari, the Italian guy the Knicks drafted, is already hurt and shut down for summer league with a sore back. “I never experienced in my life this type of soreness,” he said. Hey kid, just wait until the season starts and you have to carry Eddy Curry.

More midseason report cards:

Carlos Beltran: B – You’re hitting again, and we love the fact that you basically told Jimmy Rollins to F-off early in the season.

Mike Pelfrey: B+ – Chewing on baby pacifiers: bad. Throwing shutouts: good.

Billy Wagner: C+ – At least the All-Star Game doesn’t actually count, this time or any time.

Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon: Incomplete – You’ve got to stop hanging around the bar and drinking the Moises Alou Kool-Aid.

Overall, the Nooner recognizes a boring first half on the field for the NY Nines and a wonderful one off the field. A-Rod and Willie — thanks for the wackiness. We look forward to pennant chases, local papers acting like it’s Armageddon whenever there’s a single loss, and A-Rod continuing to provide us with more material than we can possibly handle.

The All-Star Break is ending, and you know what that means: Time for the lauded local newspaper tradition of grading every player on the Mets and Yankees. We had some fun with this hobby on the show today, but we’d like to further emphasize how ridiculous the concept is.

The Daily News gave Fernando Tatis an A — the only Met to earn the distinction in Adam Rubin’s book — but Carlos Beltran, David Wright and Johan Santana got B’s. The Post gave perfect GPAs to Tatis and Damion Easley, but gave Beltran a B-minus. The Post hasn’t released its Yankee grades yet, but the News gave Alex Rodriguez — probably the best player in baseball — a B.

We don’t get it. If we’re grading these guys against their preseason expectations, maybe that makes sense. But if we’re grading them as baseball players, someone should consult the provost’s office. Sure, we’re all really proud of how hard Fernando Tatis has worked to produce his .292 average and .323 on-base percentage, but does that really make him a better or more valuable baseball player than A-Rod?

Didn’t these people ever go to high school? Sure, there were plenty of kids who worked hard and got decent grades, but what about the kids who coasted along on natural ability and still got good marks? Why punish a student for not living up to his endless potential when the papers he’s turning in are still way better than the nonsense Damion Easley is writing? Maybe A-Rod showed up late to class and left his pencil at his really old girlfriend’s house, but he still aced the test.

Fernando Tatis can study all he wants, but he’s got to understand that he’s not getting into the same Ivy League colleges that Carlos Beltran will on SAT scores alone.

And if that isn’t enough to show how dumb this whole idea is, consider this: The News gave Argenis Reyes a B — same as Santana, Wright, A-Rod, Giambi and Jose Reyes. The kid has only been to class nine times.

On Wednesday the New York Knicks and free-agent guard Anthony Roberson agreed in principle to a two year contract.  The addition of another backcourt player increase the likelihood that the Knicks will look to part ways with point guard/backseat intern casanova Stephon Marbury.  Its a good thing Steph went with his sneaker logo rather than a Knicks emblem when making the choice for his new scalp tattoo.

The NFL announced it will be stepping up efforts to monitor gang related occurences, having experts analyze gametape for any players or team officials using suspected gang signals.  Blue and red, well known gang colors, are also rumored to be banned.  Sorry Giants fans, looks like pink and yellow in ’08 for your defending Super Bowl champs.

Yankees third baseman and media lightning rod Alex Rodriguez has once again come under scrutiny, this time for leaving the All-Star game shortly after he was replaced in the lineup.  To be fair though, post game traffic can be a real bitch, and he may have just been trying to get home to the wife and ki….. oh, wait. Yeah, nevermind.

New York talk radio has been buzzing lately with the debate over whether or not the Jets should make an attempt to acquire fickle “retiree” Brett Favre.  Not only would a move for Favre be an undeniable improvement over Chad Pennington at quarterback, it would also increase the amount of rugged man-stubble and denim in the Jets locker room by a whopping 90%.

On the slowest sports day of the year I, like many other true sports fans, took the opportunity to catch up on the 2008 Tour de France.  Okay, I’m sorry… I can’t even pretend that’s true.  But did anyone see what happened on Supernanny?